This is going to be thee touchiest topic ever but it must be addressed.
My friend Chelsi and I were having coffee tonight and I brought up a topic that is really touchy...only because race is a huge issue, still, today. As I was looking around at this coffee shop we were at, every SINGLE person was white. Now, I'm mestiza, half white/half filipino and Chelsi is half asian/half white. Every couple in that room was obviously white and it made me think about bi-race couples because Chelsi and I really only have dated black or miniority men.
Let me get to the point...
There are points where I wonder what it would be like to date a white guy because there is a HUGE difference from dating a white man and a minority man. I know, there are those execeptions but few and far between. Here's my analysis. White men treat women differently in everything they do, as I've had personal experiences in my life. White men are raised to win the woman by doing anything to get them. (I.E. the movie, Guess Who.)
I know, I know; there are going to be people who disagree with me but I'm not here to prove it to anyone...this is just simply how I feel through experiences.
So anyways, white men are taught this and when they grow up, they wine & dine their women and then, when it's time to go home, they end up at the T.V. or in bed, while the woman is expected to make sure the kids are okay, the home is clean, food is ready for tomorrow like lunches, etc. These men don't want help when it comes to "winning a woman" because they are in control, they make the decisions and expect their woman to do what they've grown up with and that's a housewife, a mommy maid.
NOW, minority men...different story. They may take a woman out, but GUARANTEED she had something to do with it, whether it be making the reservations, finding the place, making plans for after dinner, etc. That's just how it goes. Minority men (really, I'm taking about black men because that's where I've had the most experience) are raised to survive, to make it, to live. But doing so, they also get help; it's a struggle together. They are taught that they gotta make it through life to get somewhere, because that's our their ancestors had to do it, FIGHT to get where you wanna be. So, that being said, they may not make all the plans, or do everything from beginning to end because in reality, they've already done what they needed to, to "make it". But, thankfully, these men are so consistent. Once the woman and man are home, things don't change. The man checks with the woman to see if she needs anything, any help with anything she got going on, cleans up with her, etc.
Men are pretty simple but break it down in race, and it gets complicated. When I was in high school, I dated a white guy and things were different. We weren't a couple so things weren't expected like dinner, etc. yet even when he wanted to get a snack, we ended up at a Italian restaurant and he made sure that he ordered for me (although I refused) and made sure that he paid for everything, etc. etc. I didn't get a say in anything we did. He was a "beginning" not an end. They refuse help, they do it on their own and don't want any woman taking part in plans or decision making. They expect the "housewife"; "I'm the breadwinner, your the mommy maid".
To change that, minority men are "a beginning to end" because that's how they survive. They've gotta get somewhere, do things, survive so even things simple as dating, even though they get help from their girlfriend/date/wife, they finish. They want a woman who is independent, yet still dependent, wanting a housewife yet wanting a breadwinner, wanting a woman to help make decisions and take part in their lives.
So, at the restaurant, they're were multiple white couples around us and I could see the difference in the way they act with each other. The man orders, the man makes light conversation, etc. I know when Tre and I go out, we're laughing, making jokes, being loud, having fun, etc. It's something we are doing together and enjoying our time, no one being OVER the other. NO one is shadowing anyone, we're equal. It's not just our relationship; I've seen it in multiple couples, white and minority; the difference is clear.
This was a very vague description to this topic but I have a massage tomorrow early so got to get rest.
This was a touchy subject but it's how I feel, so get over it. :)